When Tara Met Blog: January 2016

OMG I'm Driving a Mini Van

Queue the Talking Heads song "How did I get here?"... And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile ...

OMG I am now the owner of a 2015 Toyota Sienna XLE mini van and even more surprisingly, I'm loving it! So many parents have told us how much easier it is, but we had stubbornly held on to our SUV, dreading driving a sexless mini van. However, never say never, because apparently, I'm a new woman.

I once equated driving a minivan to shopping at Talbots, for when women have given up being a woman and ugh am I now eating my words. I no longer have to worry about wearing a wedding ring either, because after this car buying decision I can guarantee you that guys in other cars aren't even glancing my way in this baby shuttle, lol. At least, I'd rather blame the car than my appearance and age.

Doesn't matter the stigma though, it's actually a pleasure to drive this van. It's a smooth ride. I like being up so high too, it really has improved my visibility of the road and the features DO make traveling with kids easier.

Before with two car seats in the backseat, we could never have other people ride in our car. Sure, we had an SUV with a third row, but on long car trips it wasn't comfortable for them, plus there wasn't enough trunk space once those seats were up. Now, grandma and friends can come along on trips too and so can all the twins' gear and a double stroller.

Checking out the Honda Odyssey at the Miami Auto Show

The sliding doors are great too. The boys love pressing the button to easily open the doors themselves and I love that they aren't swinging the doors open and hitting and denting another car.

Not to mention the entertainment center turns complaining babies into gaping silence.

Yup, life is good. Our big, twin, mini van life. *sigh*

My Boys are Now the Age When My Sister Died

At just three years and one month into my sister Serina's life, it ended. My parents lost their first born when tragically their cautious three-year-old suddenly chased after her dog and was struck by a speeding car on their residential road. The dog lived, my sister didn't.

I grew up knowing first-hand that my parents experienced the worst thing imaginable for parents. I witnessed their daily tears, saw the pain that led to them splitting, and even heard the terrible retelling of taking Serina off life support. Still, it took being a parent myself to put it further into perspective.

While I can only begin to imagine their heartbreak and strength to keep living, I now know just how much personality, moments and dreams go into those three years of raising a child. It's helped make her life more real to me. I keep looking at my boys' little bodies and a chill runs down my spine, but more importantly, my tears fall for the beautiful little girl lost, her life taken and my poor parents for having to experience something so horrible.

I recently came across a simple photo of our father holding and tilting back a cup of water for Serina to drink from. It's such a common parenting task, but I thought 'wow, how many times have I done that for my boys?' and I just started crying.

When I was younger I was a bit obsessed with Serina or rather the lack of her. She wasn't there, yet her presence still was, especially in how my parent's lives changed. I remember I couldn't get enough of looking at her photographs. We were both our parent's daughters, yet I lived and she didn't. She had brown hair and brown eyes. My hair was super blonde as a child with blue/green eyes. She was in the 90th percentile and I was in the 20th. I would imagine and wonder what other differences and similarities we'd have. My father had her photos hanging up on almost every wall in his apartment. 17-years after her death, I was once again staring into her eyes as I removed them from his walls after his own passing.

Although I didn't look much like her, I caught myself doing a double-take at the following holiday photo of my son Ben. It reminded me of those photos that I used to see of her, of his would-be aunt. So, just maybe a bit of her still lives on. Maybe I was given twins to give my mom back a life that was taken.

My Twin Boys' School Photo Meme

So, I just got back my boys' first school photos EVER and well, they look like mug shots.

Their pre-school was nice and apparently let them do a photo together, but as you can see ... it inspired me to do a meme. I have no idea what that photographer said to them, but they ain't happy!