Thursday, July 12, 2007

Should I blog about this or not? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself since this whole thing started. In answer to my question, Raphael said “I don’t know this is pretty personal, but then again your blog is about you.” So here I go.

Last week I had a colposcopy, not to be confused with a colonoscopy. My pap had come back abnormal and showing mild dysplasia, so they wanted to remove some pre-cancerous biopsies from my cervix to examine the extent of the abnormalities. I was of course stressed about it going into it and the entire week prior. I was told they would put vinegar on my cervix to examine trouble spots, then do a needle extraction and scrape my cervix all while I was there awake, spread eagle. The procedure was uncomfortable to say the least and it didn’t help that I fainted during it and woke up confused and in pain on an examination table. They had to use smelling salts to revive me. Raphael was there to take me home and for the next several days I experienced some cramping and bleeding. I also couldn’t workout for a week. But I at least thought the coloscopy would have been the end of it.

Anyway, my cells were sent to the lab and a week later I got a call from my doctor (not the assistant but the doctor herself, not a good sign) and she said that the results came back higher than she liked and now it looked like I had severe dysplasia and needed another procedure done immediately. So now I have to get a LEEP done in August, which removes parts of my cervix with lasers in a sort of an electrical wire loop. Lovely. Luckily, this won’t affect my future child bearing, however women who’ve had this procedure usually have weaker cervixes and earlier labors, which given my frailness I’m sure would have been the case anyway. For this procedure the full recovery time is six weeks (no hot tubs, no tampons, no …) but this will hopefully prevent the pre-cancerous cells from getting any worse and turning into the C word. This has to be done, I keep telling myself and I’m trying not to get too freaked out about it all. Just upset I have to deal with this. Ah, well.

Thus, ladies under 26 go get your Gardasil shots to help prevent some cases of cervical cancer, it’s a series of three shots in six months. I was actually aiming to get them done during my next visit, but then got the call about my test.  

Ironically, after I hung up the phone with my doctor, trying to process this all. In my inbox popped up this week’s Blog Off word and it’s HOPE. So, I’m taking that as a good sign, as I hope this time the procedure will be the end of it, that I’ll be ok and that it will all soon be a distant memory a year from now. I hope, I hope, I hope.


  1. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 6:59 AM PDT

    Name: "Shannon"

    What crappy ass news T. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It does sound like everything will be alright once they do the next procedure so I have hope too!

    On a different topic, I have pointed someone towards your cupcake meetup group! I think you'll like her if she and some friends join up.

  2. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 9:39 AM PDT

    Name: "Zendi"
    Home Page:


    So sorry to hear that Tara. You're so brave to share something so intimate with us. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you

  3. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 12:55 PM PDT

    Name: "April"

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this. Nice tie in on the word HOPE. Hope all is will be behind you soon.

  4. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 3:40 PM PDT

    Name: "QueenieCarly"
    Home Page:


    You must mean a colposcopy with two Ps.

    Once you talk to more people about it, you'll realize that many more women (a shocking number, really) than you'd ever expected have been through the same procedures.

    That said, it wouldn't matter if everyone had had it done, that doesn't take away any of the fear or discomfort (to say the least) that come from such an experience as this. The good news is that a LEEP will, more often than not, take care of anything of concern and you'll be good as new in no time. The recovery is really not that bad.

    Having been there myself, I would advise you to take an Ativan or two before the LEEP. It is, in reality, not as bad as the colposcopy (some freezing is involved), but it sucks nonetheless.

    I remember how it felt waiting between those procedures and it was scary and I worried a lot. Surround yourself with people you can talk to and lean on and it'll all turn out just fine. Take care of yourself.

  5. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 3:44 PM PDT

    Name: "Mommy the Maid"
    Home Page:


    I know how you feel. All those procedures "down there" are never fun but they have to be done. I have to be checked at least twice a year and am usually told I need more stuff done. Iw ill be hoping right along with that everything turns out okay for you.

  6. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 5:17 PM PDT

    Name: "Tara"

    Shannon - thank you and I look forward to meeting your friends at a future cupcake meetup, thanks for the referal.

    QueenieCarly - Opps two P's, that's what I meant, thanks! and thanks for the words of encouragement and experienced advice. I'll look into getting some Avitan? (I'm not familiar with it).

    Zendi, April and Mommy the Maid - thanks for posting a comment and for the support!

  7. Thursday, July 12, 2007 - 8:50 PM PDT

    Name: "Megs"
    Home Page:

    Wow. What news. I'm so sorry that you have to go through something that sounds so uncomfortable. My thoughts are with you.

    And by the way, very brave of you to post about this. Good job.

  8. Friday, July 13, 2007 - 9:56 AM PDT

    Name: "Nathan Pralle"
    Home Page:


    Here's hoping everything goes very well, very swift, and very easy.

  9. Friday, July 13, 2007 - 10:00 AM PDT

    Name: "Jason"
    Home Page:

    Yikes! I've been through some harrowing tests, results and surgeries with my wife, so I feel what you're going through. You have a great attitude about it, which really helps.

  10. Friday, July 13, 2007 - 10:27 AM PDT

    Name: "Nicole D"

    I have had both of these procedures as well Tara. It's definitely uncomfortable, both physically and mentally. I viewed my LEEP procedure on a small TV as it was occuring. Don't worry too much about it. It's not much different from the colposcopy itself. I wish they would have developed that vaccine years ago. Once it becomes more common, it will have a big impact on cervical cancer. Take care.

  11. Friday, July 13, 2007 - 6:15 PM PDT
    Name: "Courtney"
    Home Page:


    Yikes, Tara, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all that. Medical issues, especially the girly ones, are never easy to cope with. Keep that good attitude together and push through. You can do it.

  12. Saturday, July 14, 2007 - 4:09 AM PDT

    Name: "QueenieCarly"
    Home Page:

    Ativan. I believe it's an anti-anxiety drug, a mild sedative. It's sublingual and will relax you a lot. Ask your doc for a few to take. I had to fight a little to get them (I believe I told her "They're removing, in your words, "a chunk" of my cervix. Has that ever happpened to you? Don't talk to me about being calm.") , but it really was worth it.

    And if you ever want to talk about it with someone who has been there, just let me know. It sucks bigtime, but, like I said, you're going to be okay.

  13. Saturday, July 14, 2007 - 8:54 PM PDT
    Name: "Vegas Princess"
    Home Page:

    What horrible news to receive.  I hate having issues "down there" and having gone trough an awful lot myself (although not what you just spoke about but bad enough) I know how you feel.  Iwish you the very best and I know everythng will go well this time and it will be the last of the bad news.

  14. Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 4:58 PM PDT
    Name: "Kat"
    Home Page:

    Wow, you are in my thoughts. I know I only know you online and what not, but if you need anything, Im here for you. You seem to be a fighter and I know you will perservere (sp?) what ever happens.

  15. Monday, July 16, 2007 - 11:22 AM PDT

    Name: "SL"

    I don't know what to say, T. I have a good carefree front, but I'm really a nervous nellie. I'm going to be hoping right along with you.

    Love you!

  16. Monday, July 16, 2007 - 11:26 PM PDT
    Name: "C~"
    Home Page:


    OK.  Fingers and toes crossed.  Angels called upon.  Prayers sent.  All manner of good thoughts, intentions and energy coming your way.

  17. Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 2:15 PM PDT

    Name: "Sketti"
    Home Page:

    What horrific news and I totally feel for you although have no idea what you are going through. Although I do panic every time I get a call back after a pap test...grrrrrrrr!

    Such a relavent post for this word. Thank you for sharing with us. Just remember that all of our hopes and prayers are with you. x

  18. Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 2:19 PM PDT

    Name: "Evey"
    Home Page:


    Hope for good health is a great hope for all of us to have. This post was a great reminder that we all need to take care of ouselves.

  19. Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 2:47 PM PDT

    Name: "Jess"

    Hey Tare, sorry to hear but I am here to tell you that you will be okay. My sister had all that done after she had savanna and she is fine. she never had a pap before she got pregnant so they didnt find it before, but now she is fine. you have to get a pap more regularly for a while but i think after 2 years you go back to anual paps. but im sure if you had any extra questions that you didnt ask your doc you could call her. love ya cuz

  20. Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 8:55 PM PDT

    Name: "H. (aka NC_State_gal)"
    Home Page:

    T - Girl... I read this and felt deja vu. In 1999, I was diagnosed with Cervical Dysplasia, I had cryotherapy (tumors frozen off), which was followed by LEEP. It was a nightmare and yes, rather unpleasant. It took me AGES to feel normal again and I still am VERY weird about anyone going uhmmm....down there...including my bf.

    In addition, there is so much scarring of my cervix that I may not be able to carry full term in pregnancy.

    For you...I hope a better outcome...but do what you need to do to stay healthy and to keep from developing later stages of cancer.

  21. Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 9:08 PM PDT

    Name: "Lynn Tucker"
    Home Page:


    Been There, done that, got the t-shirt and the hysterectomy.

    I am feeling for you.

    I am here at 44 after the surgery at 28 to prove there is life after that mess.

  22. Wednesday, August 1, 2007 - 2:54 PM PDT

    Name: "Linda"

    Don't worry your little head off!!!! everything will be fine. I did it, and I felt exactly as you do! Anxiety, fear and the whole deal. And, that was 6 weeks after giving birth to Ryan. Thank God for follow-up checkups, or they may never have found it until to late, possibly. But, as you know, exactly 3 months later I was preggers w/Jennifer!!!! And I am 51 now, with no after affects!!! So, don't fret......

    Luv ya! oh! and you looked marvelous when you were home to visit!!!!


  23. Thursday, August 9, 2007 - 11:18 AM PDT

    Name: "nikki"

    I'm having a LEEP procedure done in a few weeks too. I almost fainted during my coloscopy, so I'm very nervous about the LEEP. Luckily my dr. prescribed me some Valium to help calm me down. Something I noticed you said was that it won't have any affect on child bearing. I just wanted to share with you what my dr. told me. Women who have had the LEEP procedure done are slightly more at risk for having a miscarriage around the 7th month of pregnancy. Just thought I'd share the info. It's amazing how many women have to go through this. It's nice though to know that we're not alone!