It's Balloon Time, Boys and Girls

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Just as I was swiping my pass for the subway, I heard my train arrive at the bottom of the steps. I sprinted down them, but the train carts that were closest too me were already filled to capacity. So, I ran further down the platform until I saw one with enough space for me to jump in, but then I noticed that people were fleeing it and running for the more crowded parts of the train. Finding this weird, but having no time to think since the doors were about to close, I jumped in. I figured I’ve ridden with drunks and panhandlers before, what could be the big deal?

I was totally surprised when instead of seeing a guy mummbling out loud or smelling some foul odor, two dozen helium balloons came floating towards me, whopping me on the head. No, I was not on a circus train with Bozo or Coco the clown and I was not dreaming this. It was either a haggard father or some party planner, trying his best to reel in silver and gold ribbons that held an assortment of helium balloons, which were rapidly engulfing the passengers in the seats. I swear this is true. He held the bunched together ribbons like a bouquet in his hands, wrapping them around his fists. I have no idea how this man was able to stuff all the balloons onto the train before the doors shut on him. Better yet, I don't know how he’ll ever get them off safely. Thankfully none of them popped during my two stops because I know I would have been the girl who screamed and jumped like a freak.

When I got off at my stop a few minutes later, my hair had enough static electricity to jump a stalled car. See, these are the many things that happen to me that make me believe that I’m on some reality show that is unbeknownst to me ;p

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