Search


Blogroll Title image
Archive title image
Spread the love title image
Designed by: Chic and Sassy Designs
I got a Goldstar
PageRank

You can't go home again?

Last weekend, I traveled back home to New York for my Nanny's memorial service. I was planning on being strong and read the poem that I wrote years ago, which she asked for me to read when she passed away. I figured that I had dealt with my feelings after saying goodbye to her at the hospital, however, I started thinking about all our earlier memories and how close we were and all my emotions came back up to the surface.

I first started crying when I saw her friends that she used to play cards and seeing the sadness in their eyes. Then memories of joining them in their card games with my Nanny flooded back. I started crying much harder though during her son's beautiful speech about Nanny's ability to bring people together, our bond and that words like "hate" were not in her dictionary. I barely managed to read the poem, but my voice cracked throughout. The weirdest part was being all together without her. Being insider her home (where I grew up on many weekends and summers ) without her was another shock. It was like a body without its soul. No more spirit, just an empty house.

Things picked up though the following day when "the boys" (my psuedo-brothers that my Nanny and I babysat) and I went out for a ride on a very fast cigarette boat from Sutphen Boats. The river was super flat and we skipped like a stone up the Hudson River, under the Bear Mountain Bridge and passed West Point reaching 61 MPH. It was like a roller coaster ride, the winds pushed at my face like a facelift and my hair was whipping me.

Here's a video of the experience. The audio is loud though due to the wind and us speeding:

7 comments:

Shannon said...

(((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

This was probably good for your soul to go back and celebrate your Nanny's life.

Glad you were able to have some fun. The boat ride looks very exciting.

audrey said...

It was nice being with you and being able to bereave Nanny.
I miss you already....
Mom

Dancinghotdogs said...

I am sorry babes. Nanny was a special woman who many will miss.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed having you and your extended family on the boat and glad that I was able to make a difficult time a bit brighter. BTW...your mother was right, the Hudson is beautiful!!

Ron said...

I guess I don't know how to post on your Blog. Ron is the Anonymous one.

Nicole said...

My sympathies on the passing of your Nanny. ((hugs))