April 10, 2009

Buon Compleanno!

The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day.

Accept the fluster of lost door keys,

the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel.

None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look!

my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones.

And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love)

I shan't have lied.

It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster. -- Elizabeth Bishop, One Art
Happy 55th Birthday Benny!

Today, my father would have turned 55-years-old. Instead he died when he was only 45. So young. As was I at the time. Thinking back at me then, I wish I could hug that sad little teen. Especially when I re-read this poem that I wrote that year. Breaks my heart all over again

In the years since his passing there was an empty seat at three of my graduations, a missing parent at my wedding and so many ups and downs that I wasn't able to share with him. I know he would have especially enjoyed seeing my byline in the paper and hanging it up in his restaurant, knowing what college I went to and that I got my masters degree, scaring my boyfriends, hearing about my different raises, seeing my little apartment in Manhattan ... heck, I can go on and on why it sucks that he passed away, but more than anything else, I just miss my friend.


  1. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to lose your dad. Thinking of you today...

  2. what a lovely poem to remember your dad tara. thinking of you and sending some hugs your way :)

  3. A beautiful poem and your words that went along with it. I identify with and share your longing too as my dad passed at 41 barely after I graduated high school. Much love and a big hug to you today.

  4. Your dad sounded like a great man. I will keep your family in my prayers!

  5. May God bless Benny forever and ever.

  6. why the title is written in italian?

    happy Bday

  7. Thank you all!

    Pluto, my father was born in Italy, thus the Italian birthday greeting in the subject :) Good catch.

  8. My father's birthday is in a couple of days. We alsmost lost him when he had a ruptured aneurysm last month. I now know how much I need him even though I'm 30yo. You were so young when your father passed away - XOXO Tara. Happy belated birthday Benny.

  9. I am dreading the times when I'll miss my mom most, and its only been 6 months:
    -my graduation next year.
    -When I get married
    -When I start a family

  10. Very touching bday gift to you dad. I lost mine much later in my life; never easy, whenever it comes.

  11. I miss him every day.



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