October 6, 2008

And then the bride fainted

So you saw all the pretty pictures, but let me share with you some of the behind-the-scenes excitement of my wedding.

I've blogged before how I'm a fainter and have a condition called vasovagal syncope and it was my great fear that I'd faint on my wedding day, walking down the aisle or something crazy like that. That fear had my heart pounding as I waited in the side room, left of the alter, for the wedding march to begin. It was in the high 80s in Texas, despite being the last official day of summer and my dress, which felt so light and breezy in the air conditioned store and fitting room, was now suffocating me and the corset was riding painfully on my hip. I started to feel dizzy, especially when I'd say to my self, holy shit, this is your wedding day, you're about to get married.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't nervous about marrying Raphael, but afraid that I'd faint, say the wrong words or forget to do something during the mass. My heart raced all the more as I started down the tight aisle and all the camera flashes started, but as soon as I reached Raphael and we took our spots, I calmed down and thankfully did not pass out. Well, not until later ... when we were taking photos out in the heat, but luckily the only ones to see the episode were my bridesmaids, the photographer and a bunch of strangers on the street. I can't imagine how that looked. A girl in her billowing white wedding dress around her as she lied crumpled on the street outside of a movie theater marquee.

I had an hour before the cocktail hour started so I took off the dress for a bit and lied down in my room and ate some salty potato chips. An hour later all was well and we danced to 2 a.m.

I also blogged about not wanting to cry and I thought the tough part would be when I walked down the aisle without my dad, but I kept it together on that front. It was when we were giving our thank you speech before dinner to everyone when Raphael mentioned his mom and my dad's passing that I started to choke up. When it was my turn to speak, my voice kept breaking. I said, that everyone that I love is in this room and those who weren't were surely looking down. That short sentence took two attempts to get out. My emotion spilled out to the guests and several of my friends and family were crying too. Yeesh. Several deep breaths later, it felt good to have gotten that out and I could feel his love strong in my heart. *sigh*

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