Survivor

Thursday, July 5, 2007

I've entered another blog-off for breast cancer competition. Each Thursday, 21 bloggers will be given a new word prompt and from that will build a post. The first week's word is "Survivor," which immediately caused me to think of my mother and not because she likes the TV show, which she does, but because she truly is a survivor and has instilled her strength into me (I hope).

My mother now owns her own business, I can say that proudly knowing it is all to her credit, while remembering how she was once a single working mother worrying about paying the bills and giving me all that she could. She's also one of the happiest, upbeat people you'd ever meet, yet it's hard to believe that given her past or that so much strength lies behind those manicured hands and bright smile. 

She has survived: a severly alcoholic mother; her father deserting them when she was five; being put in an abusive foster home when the state of NY took her away from her mother, younger sister and half brothers at the age of 10 due to being malnourished. 

Instead of being a victim to her surroundings though and staying in the system, she went to business school and like always dusted herself off, still smiling and seemingly unfazed. 

I always felt that if someone has had such a shitty childhood they should at least be rewarded later on, but instead my mom endured more pain, the worse being the loss of her three-year-old daughter, Serina, and experiencing every parent's nightmare. I still don't know how she survived that one, especially when she tells me stories about that week and the funeral, and my dad's resulting demise. Being a baby at the time my mother once again was the strong one and took care of me 100% while grieving and going through a divorce, all without child support too.

mom and I Despite being a single working and grieving mother, I never remember her crying or complaining but always smiling and being silly. She even went from being a secretary to director of HR while also coming home and taking care of me and still discoing it up in the later hours.

Even now, she is going through yet another blow, and surprise, surprise; she's dealing with that winningly too. She is a survivor, she gets through it and even more surprisingly, she never sulks about her hardships, but still acts like a happy school girl always enjoying life despite the bad times and still dolling out love.

I once said to her "Mom, you've had such a hard life." She then said very sternly and emphatically, "I've had a great life Tara, remember that, I've had a great life!" 

So no matter what I go through or have gone through, I've always looked at my mother's strength as a model and inspiration.  

I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder, I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on survivin -- Destiny's Child

15 comments

  1. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 3:45 PM PDT

    Name: "Raphael"
    Home Page:

    http://www.startinggatesolutions.com


    That's amazing...your mom is a dose of positivity and good energy all the time. She's a Super Mom!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 6:17 PM PDT

    Name: "audrey - Taras Mom"

    Thanks both of you! LIFE is great, i have my health, wonderful daughter, great home/business and wonderful friends! So I'm going through another divorce, that a small blip on the screen of life:)
    Time for a new chapter:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 7:21 PM PDT

    Name: "Divina"


    Audrey! I was just thinking of you today. I read this article about How to meet and marry a billionaire and since its to late for me. I wanted to send it to my favorite HOT MAMA! LOL.

    Here is the link!
    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/19505458/?GT1=10150
    Wink, wink, stay out of trouble.

    Hope you are doing well!

    Divina

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 7:47 PM PDT

    Name: "no milk"
    Home Page:

    http://nomilk.blogspot.com

    how heartfelt and beautifully written. your mom is an inspiration. keep survivin...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 8:04 PM PDT
    Name: "H. (aka NC_State_gal)"
    Home Page:
    http://justanotherweek.blogspot.com

    Girl...you don't know how much I smiled reading this post.  It took all my willpower to write my post without reading everyone elses first and BAM...I must have been channeling your energy b/c with the word "Survivor" I could only think abou the AMAZING women in my life.  They have been through it all and somehow manage to laugh, smile and enjoy life to the fullest.  I am always so humbled to think that I am lucky enough to know my mother and my grandmothers because they truly are awe-inspiring.  Now, I am even more humbled b/c you shared a piece of your mom with all of your readers!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 9:23 PM PDT

    Name: "anonymous"

    It is always so encouraging to read such awesome stories of perseverence through hard times. What an awesome tribute to your mom this post is and I thank you for sharing it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 9:25 PM PDT

    Name: "Evey"
    Home Page:
    http://www.chrisandevey.blogspot.com

    oops, that anon comment was me. I forgot to fill out the top of the form. hehe!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Friday, July 6, 2007 - 1:38 AM PDT
    Name:
    Home Page:

    http://fiveseconddanceparty.com
    Your mother sounds like an amazing woman to have around. I'm glad that you
    make sure she knows it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Friday, July 6, 2007 - 1:40 AM PDT

    Name: "QueenieCarly"
    Home Page:
    http://www.queeniecarly.typepad.com

    How wonderful for you to have such a fantastic life teacher and role model. It's so nice to read how aware you are of your blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Friday, July 6, 2007 - 2:59 PM PDT

    Name: "C~"
    Home Page:
    http://blog.write2b.com/

    I love your Mom! What a great response. Great role model. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sunday, July 8, 2007 - 8:46 PM PDT

    Name: "Vegas Princess"
    Home Page:
    http://www.lifevegasstyle.blogspot.com

    Your mother is an inspiration. To keep smiling after all she has endured shows what a wonderful person she is. Your need to blog about her shows how well she rasied you to be the same.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sunday, July 8, 2007 - 10:42 PM PDT

    Name: "SL"


    Aw, T, I love hearing this. I'm so impressed with your mom. Not only is she an inspiration, funny (you know I love your mom stories! LOL) and she raised a daughter that is completely amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Monday, July 9, 2007 - 8:17 AM PDT

    Name: "Leo"
    Home Page:

    http://www.myspace.com/leot73


    Wow, kind of puts all the little things we worry about in perspective. Your mom is the real deal, truly an inspiration. I can't imagine going through half of the stuff she's had to endure.

    A true testament of survival, nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Monday, July 9, 2007 - 9:08 AM PDT

    Name: "Nathan Pralle"
    Home Page:

    http://www.nathanpralle.com/blog

    I love it when children find inspiration in their parents -- I hope I am at least 50% of the wonderful example to my children as your mother has been for you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tuesday, July 10, 2007 - 7:12 AM PDT

    Name: "April"

    I'm sure she is very proud to have you as her daughter.

    ReplyDelete