Tuesday, May 2, 2006
During the last week alone this has been a topic of conversation among several of my friends, coworkers, etc. What topic? Couples that do not or are afraid to say that they are boyfriend and girlfriend in public, I know several couples that are like this actually, so the below example is definitely not an isolated case.
A guy friend of mine has been seeing this girl for over a year now, well coming up on a year at least. They are exclusive, go out on couple themed holidays and for special events. Yet, he always refers to her as his 'friend' and that's it. When introducing her to people he'll say 'this is my friend Chelsea.' Once he mentioned to me that he and a friend went on vacation the other week, leaving me wondering if he went with a buddy and left Chelsea behind for a guy weekend or if he went with her, but no, turns out she was the friend and they went together. Maybe he doesn't consider her a girlfriend? I don't see how he cannot though. I think parents have been introduced at this point even. Keep in mind he calls me his friend too and we don't sleep together, so how can you distinguish one friend from another when it's all so vague?
My friend (a real one, I'm not inferring anything here ;) was just saying that she could understand if they were just starting to see each other, or if it had only been a few months that they would chose the safe option of saying 'this is my friend..." She thinks the reason for his vagueness is that he does not want people to know that they are intimate and wants to play the field a bit and appear single. Yet, she and the guy she's seeing have not had the talk yet and she'd personally rather not call him her boyfriend.
Do you think it's simpler, more modern or safer to say 'friend' and leave it at that? Maybe he or even her are not comfortable with the bf/gf terms in general? I don't know, but it sometimes brings up more questions for them then it would if they simply admitted that they are an item in the first place.
*sigh* look at all the red tape relationships go through, crazy! And I'm not saying there has to be labels in a relationship to be considered one, I just think the above cases are funny since they have caused speculation and not just by me. I think in most situations though it's like a catch-22, neither seems to want to be the first to call the other person their girlfriend or boyfriend. I know I wouldn't want to be the first to, so I can't really talk. Sorry for the circular post, just thinking and typing, thinking and typing.
Tribeca Review: Al Franken: Godspoke (2006)